The Unspoken Harsh Reality of Breadwinners

 

In the Philippines, being a Breadwinner is a cultural expectation in a Filipino family. To some, it is a source of pride and satisfaction knowing that they are able to provide for the family. However, no matter how romanticized this culture has become for the longest time, There's a harsh reality that comes with it and it doesn't only affect the Breadwinner alone, but their relationships as well.

Here are a few examples on how life can be so difficult for breadwinners:

1. Nasestress sa Pera

 

Money has always been a source of stress even in normal situations, mas lalo na if you are the Breadwinner. With the current economy; inflation is at an all time high and we are only just recovering from the pandemic, so money is so much difficult to come by.

Sobrang hirap na pagkasyahin ng kita ngayon lalo pa't lumiliit na ang value ng pera. There's a disconnect with how much we are earning from the cost of living nowadays.

 

Sabi nga nila, you can solve 99% of your problems if meron kang pera. Which is funny because it's so so accurate. If hindi ka na namomroblema sa budget, mas marami kang time to think about improving your overall mental well-being.

 

2. Maraming Raket

 

As the cost of living increases day by day, there's only so much that out source of income can cover. And one of the ways that one can catch up with daily living expenses is to increase your income. Some freelancers I know would book so many jobs, because they can and they are allowed to. But when it comes to those who are employed, "raket" is the key.

Hosting, driving, photo and video coverage, graphic design, the list goes on and on, just to mitigate the daily living cost and income, plus to get a little extra for savings and emergency. Importante yun dahil sobrang mahal magkasakit ngayon.

 

3. Me Time? Nakakain ba Yun?

 

Kung tatanungin ka ng "kailan ang huling beses na nag me-time ka?" how would you respond? Would you even think of a time when you did nothing but rest or enjoy during your off days? When you are a breadwinner, it feels like you need to maximize your time during rest day and do something productive kasi "sayang".

 

Which gives us the dilemma kung ano nga ba ang dapat unahin, ang sarili o ang income? Pero for me, mas importante pa rin na unahin ang sariling health, kasi ang katawan mo ang iyong puhunan, and you only have one. Kung magkakasakit ka, you wouldn't be able to work, that's why you should always prioritize your own health, mapa physical o mental well-being man.

 

4. Parang Labag sa Loob Humingi ng Tulong

 

Asking for help is okay. But when you are a Breadwinner, parang nakakaguilty humingi ng tulong sa iba. Siguro, this comes with the Filipino culture of expecting that the Breadwinner should be the only one to provide for the family. To the point na minsan naaabuso na. yung tipong hirap na hirap kang humingi ng tulong per, kapag ikaw na yung hinigian, you would never bat an eye or think twice to help.

 

5. Pamilya Muna Bago Pangarap

 

Naranasan mo na bang mag "no" sa opportunities to give way for your family? As a Breadwinner, that's a common thing, lalo na dito sa Pilipinas. "Magtrabaho ka muna para mapag-aral mo muna mga kapatid mo" is the usual dialogue of parents lalo na sa mga panganay. There's always this unwritten rule that you have to sacrifice your dreams for the dreams of your family.

 

Although in this time and age, where western values have already started its influence, most especially to the youth, this is changing little by little. But still, the "Breadwinner" culture still prevails most especially in traditional family setup where the children often stay with the parents even when they're already finished school and already working.

 

As complex as this setup goes, it's really difficult to change most especially when this has already been a part of Filipino culture since time immemorial. It can also be a fulfilling value, however, it can also lead to a toxic outcome. But one thing that we should always remember, how can you help others if you could not even help yourself. Fill your cup first, because you could never pour from an empty cup. And when your cup overflows, that's only when you can share the spills to others.

Breadwinner, please take care of yourself!